Responses to Having her Cake

It's a great story, very smoothly put together. The poems are separate but they all lock together really well.  I found myself close to tears. Also, full of wonder.  It’s all very moving. I was struck again by the powerful story of it all--and all so beautifully written.   -  Charlotte Innes                                                                                    

Such a powerful, sad book. Will read again .. it’s sad but also packed with that long ago energy you both had. Life can be fabulously beautiful - worth living. The sequence affected me strongly because I’ve attended two funerals recently, a young mother who endured a long struggle and left 3 boys, and an ex Grenadier. He fell ill, was diagnosed and died within 3 weeks. Because it was so certain he seemed reconciled, alert, brave, making sure all was in order.  -  Chris Hardy

                                                                                                                                                                 

I have now read the poems and, though of course I shall be returning to them over the next few days, I must say straight away that as the record of a friendship it is wonderfully vivid, by turns joyous, playful, compassionate and moving. -   John Mole  

                                                                                                                                                                 

Devoured your book at one sitting.  Fantastic, beautifully crafted, sure-footed writing (as expected), and so moving! - Helen Kay

                                                                                                                                                                   

​Just read ‘Having her cake’ in half an hour whilst icing my painful new knee.  One of the most entertaining and moving half hours that I’ve ever spent. It’s not only a loving tribute; it’s never sentimental, it’s clever, original, beautifully crafted and made me feel that I knew Barbara down to my bones! Bravo you brilliant woman.    Jenny McRobert​​

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I loved ‘Having Her Cake’.   So, specifics? Love the title, with the echo of the second part of the phrase unspoken, but very much there – ‘and eating it.  Love that it’s a pamphlet – long enough to allow variety and expansiveness, riffing on essentially a single subject, but not so long it outstays its welcome (which a lot of full collections do, in my opinion). Especially with the common poetry truism they must have a ‘theme’, strictly adhered to. I prefer the discursive over the particular, but that’s just me, of course.

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And the ‘unwashed fork’ of the chocolate cake in the titular poem, which seems very real but also subtly, rather than insistently, metaphoric, is great – and a very hard verbal sleight of hand to pull off, in my opinion -  really good stuff! Love the balance of the heartfelt, observed reality mixed with the absurd and comic in ‘Nuptial Bed.’ Other favourites include the cool, measured processes of ‘Recipe for Release.’ Both macabre and practical and logical. Again, a great tone to pull off, and very hard, I’d have thought. ‘Woman Holding a Dog in her Lap’ is both coolly ekphrastic and really ‘real’, in the close observation about the dachshund being with the person at the time of their passing, being the way another animal will know the reality of what’s happening.  (In a way perhaps we need, too).

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The ghastly countdown and precision of ’20 Seconds’ – yikes! And ‘Tapioca’ is a great finish, the relish of the ‘treat’ and the ritual (‘better than booze and fags’). The wickedest, joyful indulgence of dieters, and then that final cut-off. Luscious delight in friendship and small things in life, all those great moment set against the moment collapsing down to the one moment, the last – terrific.

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Thanks for this risk-taking open heart surgery, that hits the sweet spot without being saccharine, appraises both the dark and light of living and losing with a warm as well as wry eye.  I hope you’re very proud of yourself – you should be! All very best wishes, and here’s to more of this from you.  Ken Evans

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Ah, Ken Evans right, it’s a great pamphlet – I think you’ve pitched your narrative perfectly, to capture a real sense of a friendship that endured through all things – all things. And, remarkably, although the story is a moving one, there’s a real sense of joy and fun – even towards the end. That’s quite an achievement. You have honoured your friendship, and your friend, most beautifully. And it was quite an education for me, the process of embracing death, as you describe it, in those circumstances. - Dawn Gorman

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